So many years ago I had a brief and sad career in porn—one that’s too late to change—even if Annie Sprinkle affirms the beauty of older women. Nonetheless, I came to Sluts and Goddesses, Dr. Annie Sprinkle’s How to be a Sex Goddess in 101 Easy Steps, an eager witness. Maybe I couldn’t go back in front of the camera, but I could learn a few things. This 1992 film is an exploration of our potential to maximize our sexuality, produced and directed by Annie Sprinkle and Maria Beatty, and written by Annie Sprinkle, under Candida Royalle’s Femme Productions, a company concerned with making women-oriented videos. Sprinkle is dressed more like a school teacher than a slut or a goddess as she tells the viewership what to expect, beginning with a brief overview of her experiences, and then introducing the transformation facilitators who will demonstrate the “lessons.” The film takes you from the first preparatory phase to the ultimate act with humor, intelligence, and a splash of paradisiacal imagery.
The many steps involved with sexual awakening begin with the basics of self care. From a vegetable facial—avocado, oatmeal, or cucumber—your choice—to start the process of making you feel beautiful inside and out, followed by a full body sea weed massage, the sensual delights to be found in nature are the key. Too much is never enough, or wear a mask and you’ll be a woman of mystery. The presentation of wigs introduces the distinction between Sluts and Goddesses. What follows is body adornment with jewelry; and body painting, whether with grease paint or glitter or menstrual blood—it all works. Tattoos and erotic body piercing are other options. “It hurts so good,” Annie said. From nipples to noses to vulvas, it made me wince. Nothing is bypassed including what to wear on your feet, or what to do with your body hair.
You can change your consciousness by changing your clothes: Hollywood starlet; a whip yielding dominatrix; a coy girl scout—not exactly—or try gender bending, and be a drag king for a day, or go androgynous and become a Chinese sword hero. Though it’s all exaggerated and with good humor, the underlying message is important—to be whomever you want—it’s okay. More than that, it can be freeing.
And, the same can be said for changing your name. Think about the impact of having a different label by which you present to the world. If you’re going slut, the name should have the letters of the first and last name be the same, “like Torrid Tammy or choose a name that refers to your favorite body part like Lana Legs, or a “silly” name like La Dee Da.” Goddesses are best served by names that have an ancient or mythical intonation—Anya, Ishtar, or Rainbow Buffalo Corn Woman.
After all the prep work, it’s time to make some pornography. “It’s fun and easy to be a professional slut. Just follow along with me,” Annie says. Viewers are encouraged to dance, to make sounds that open up their throats, to do conscious breathing. Breathing is key, and the transformer facilitators perform the breath of fire, the bliss breath, and experience a rain drenched group orgasm. It seems natural that yoga comes next although “following along with Amy,” whose body seems to have no limits, would be nigh unto impossible for the average viewer.
There are sexual exercises designed to be employed before making love. Annie is adamant about safe sex; Playtex gloves are used to avoid the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and plastic wrap is used for oral sex. Fact: having your pussy licked stimulates acupressure points which help keep your vital organs and glands in good shape. Kegels are a pump for sexual energy and keep your muscles charged, and can stimulate your clitoris from the inside. After an array of Toys for Twats are shared, we’re ready to do it.
Annie talks more scientifically about what orgasms are, charting the way they feel, plotting the energy along the ordinate, and the time along the abscissa of a graph. The underlying message of the film, is that every woman has different needs, that knowledge has been lost and repressed, and it is time to reclaim that knowledge and the intensity and power of our orgasms. Orgasms are vital to health and happiness, and help us remember who we are beyond our everyday reality. Sluts and Goddesses is professionally done and worth watching. “Combine prayer, ritual, and magic in with your sexual practices. Let there be pleasure on earth and let it begin with you.” There’s nothing wrong with that message.
Watch Sluts and Goddesses.
